"Aglay janam mohay bitya na keejeyo"

One winter morning, my dad's car was having some problems and he could not get it started. This had been happening quite frequently and I used to watch him struggle with it. One day I just could not stop myself and I went down and asked him if I can push the car to get it started. He looked at me and asked if I have lost my mind when I was thinking about pushing the gigantic car on my own. I left him there with a heavy heart, thinking if I was his son, there would have been a different end to this story.


In the society where I have been brought up, daughters are brought up very differently as compared to sons. They are given dolls right from the birth to play with, their minds are fed with the thoughts and dreams of having to leave their parents one day and make a life of their own with husband and kids. Even if the daughter does start making money before getting married, the parents never let her spend even a single penny on them or on home in general. On the contrary, the sons are supposed to be the next in charge of the bills, the maintenance, the grocery, the events etc etc. Parents would rather like the money their daughter is making to rot in the bank or save & spend on her own self rather than letting her participate and share the burden of the family.


What good do we achieve out of this gender discrimination, I am yet to figure that out. I think parents are under an illusion that this way they are being protective and gentle towards the daughters while on the other hand daughters like myself feel helpless and frustrated. I believe being at the youthful age that I am, it is my social and moral responsibility to let my father take a break from his work and let him take things easy now. The seed that he sowed 27 years back, has now grown into a tree, strong enough to give him a shelter from the heat of old age and productive enough to give him fruits to savor. I know if my father reads this he would laugh at me and say 'you don't know how harsh and tough practical life is and just because you feel so much does not mean you can do it too. Emotions cannot satisfy anyone's hunger and are absolutely not enough to make you stand in the ruthless 'practical and material' world." 


I know women are not stronger than men physically but they are far more emotionally stronger and intelligent than men. It's my emotions for my parents which make me think that it's time for my parents to enjoy their lives, to live their lives once for themselves only without having to worry about their kids' desires and needs, be able to go to bed at night peacefully without having to worry about the 'tomorrows', be able to spend some money just for the heck of it since all I've seen them doing from the time I was born is save, save and save for the education, clothes, desires, toys and entertainment of their kids. Never in the past 27 years have I seen my father buy something for himself just because he 'felt' like it, he has been living on the 'need only' basis ever since I know him. My mother has always been cooking the dishes me and my brother likes for the past 29 years. Never have I seen her do something just because 'she' likes it.   


Perhaps, the power of my knowledge and education and the strength of my will power are not enough to push and jump start my dad's car but I believe that they are enough to break the barriers of gender discrimination, they are enough to make me dream about the day when I'd let my parents 'live' their own lives and for once be proud of the seeds that they had sown about 3 decades ago and be content that their life long hard work and nurturing has finally been rewarded with prosperity.