Growing up is all about revelations, learning after making mistakes; big and small. Sometimes other people's experiences do save you from making mistakes but that doesn't work at all times. Soon you realize that you're playing singles tennis, not doubles. In the first decade of our life, we think life is a playground and getting your favorite toy and getting to eat chocolates endlessly and getting a day off from school was the definition of happiness for us. In the next decade, we want to be 'cool' and be 'something' when we did not really know what that something was; but something that no one else was and no one else could be. And then comes the adulthood; a killer of all that we had been infused in the form of movies and novels in the past two decades. When the doctor asked me to sign a consent form for a high risk procedure for my father who was in a life-threatening condition, I knew I am an adult now. When I could not figure out what the next step should be while disagreeing or getting disappointed by my significant other, I knew I am an adult now. When I signed off my life, my future, my dreams, myself to someone forever, I knew I am an adult now.
It's funny how we are misled into adulthood, how we never know what we will face when we enter this era of life. All I know right now is that no matter how much you prepare for it, you can never anticipate the next move of life, you'd still be surprised unpleasantly quite often and proven wrong millions of times and you will still end up being in a situation where you'd have no idea what's going on and what to do about it. Even googling doesn't help then and you just have to get your ship out in the stormy sea and figure out on your own what should the direction of the sail be.
Even though I am a woman, but I'd hate to admit that women make life more complicated. The world of a man is so practical, calculated and straight edged but that of a woman is like a maze, made up of complex turns and fluctuations and comes with a warning of 'fragile - handle with care'. Even their dictionaries are different at times; when a woman says no she might mean yes, care in a man's dictionary might mean getting the most expensive gift for her but for a woman care would mean saying 'I love you' (and meaning it) just to make her feel loved, greeting her with a smile and "good morning" when she wakes up, giving her a hug when she needs it the most. Man goes into the problem solving mode while all a woman wants from him is to listen. He thinks money can solve all problems of a woman and it does for some but not for all and not at all times. He understands all the practical/material needs of her but the moment she opens up her box of emotions, he reacts as if she is too demanding, least understanding and mums her up by saying 'you need to change / you need to grow up'.
I have yet to figure out how to go about these differences without jeopardizing the relationship, many questions remain unanswered but one thing that I know now which I was never taught in school is:
"He who has so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life away in fruitless efforts"
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