Like every other girl, I grew up developing interest in clothes, jewelery, cosmetics, shoes and every other shopping item that man has made for the female gender. Men usually think women like it and feel loved when they get the above mentioned things as gifts on birthdays and anniversaries. Many women do believe in that too and I, too, thought so until few years back.
I've observed post marital lives of quite many women and I noticed that all that their lives revolve around is shopping, gossiping, cooking, decorating, partying, vacationing. Many a times, their careers come to an end because husbands believe money making is their job and home making is that of the wife. Men would get all sorts of expensive presents for the women, take her around the world, have her buy stuff and spend money to the heart's content but deprive her of one essential thing, something which money can never buy: 'freedom of thought and act'. How would a bird feel if it is locked up in a cage made up of gold? That's how a woman would feel when she's discouraged to excel and make an identity for herself after marriage.
I read a quote once: "Him that I love, I wish to be free -- Even from me". I believe the best present a man can give to his wife is the freedom of thought, expression and action. Take her career as seriously as he takes his own, the way he goes out of the way to fight off all the obstacles to make a name for himself, a similar effort should be made for her too, not for the money but for the well being of her soul. I know many people would disagree with me on this perception, but I believe life without an identity and without making a difference in others' life is a life wasted. I believe youth is all about proving your worth, using all God's resources and capabilities in the best and maximum way possible and transforming yourself from a 'nobody' into a 'somebody', be it a man or a woman.
"Always remember, you not only have the right to be an individual but an 'obligation' to be one" - Eleanor Roosevelt (First lady of the US 1933-45)
It is very rare to have a thought towards life like you do, Sarah Kabir. For some self-identity is life and for some it doesn‘t even exist. They prefer to live in their comfort zone without realizing what self-identity is all about and some who do they become helpless before so many hurdles practical life put forward like husband, kids, family responsibilities, social responsibilities etc.
ReplyDeleteBear in mind, being a female and seeking a recognition of your own can be extremely challenging, if not impossible. And keeping a balance between your family and walking on the path of self-recognition is the name of the game.
Furthermore, it depends immensely how supportive people around you are. And I wish you Good Luck for that J
I agree with you. The effort for having an identity for herself is made even more difficult for the woman since she has to keep a balance between the things you mentioned. But the tougher the task, the more rewarding it is at the end of the day. The feeling of being able to achieve something on her own makes up for the difficulties and sacrifices :)
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